Foster Parent Prayer

Guest Blog Post at God-Sized Dreams

It was such an honor to have the opportunity to share my story, my heart, with the God-Sized Dreams audience today! Be sure to head over there and read how God walked my family through the unexpected.

http://godsizeddreams.com/fostering-a-relationship-with-god/

Dahlin-07: Update for our family.

For a while you can call the kids, Dahlin-07. (My husband is proud of his play on 007) Almost two weeks ago we had two new foster kids join our family. Here is my attempt to share with you how God has called us to this place, as foster parents, once again. 

My husband and I had been praying about adopting again for quite some time. We put that on hold after we learned that our son had a bio sister that was born but after she didn't come to us, we decided to officially continue the adoption process.

In December of this last year, as part of our annual giving-back gift, we were told about two kids in foster care who could use some extra gifts. So we gave the gifts, and I ended up connecting with their foster mom afterward online. We became an online support to each other but that was about it. The kids we gave gifts to were African-American siblings, a four-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy. 

Hard Feelings

This last month had built up into a swirl of emotions. I wasn't even aware of how much they piled on top of each other until finally I erupted through tears. 

My sweet boy, Robert, has been with us for a year now and once before just after he was born. In between our family he moved twice into other foster homes. When we got him back when he was a little over a year old I thought bonding would be easy. 

It's that time of year again...

My sweet little 4 year old Mia is sick. I spent my morning in the bathroom with my little girl as she threw up. I think this is the first time it happened in the morning instead of the middle of night. Although last night she was not feeling well, her head hurt and she had a low fever. :(

So cuddled up on the chair this morning she tells me how scared she is about throwing up and as I tucked her under her blanket and pillow she asked me to pray for her. We prayed for God to help her feel better and for her not to have fear.

Old journals, what a blessing!

Wow, reading through an old journal I started years before I had kids really took my breath away. God is amazing and I am so glad I wrote down my thoughts back then. What a blessing for me to see how perfect His timing is.

Back in 2005 just 2 years into being married my husband and I really started praying for God's will. We prayed the, popular at that time, prayer of Jabez.

5 Little Monkeys...Jumping on the bed

Oh where to begin? I have been putting off writing this post because I don't know where it will lead but the fact of the matter is, life is happening and I don't want to forget being in this place.

The nutshell: My husband and I are pursuing adoption of our previous foster daughter and her brother.  

The story:  We have watched adoptive families drop out of the race, back out last minute and even family resources change their mind after starting transitions. It breaks my heart to watch. She has been in a foster home with good friends of ours and we have been able to see her often. So much so, that she still calls us Mommy and Daddy.

Seeking God's will

I have had the joy of having one of our previous foster daughters come and stay with us for the past few days. We are thankful to still be in her life and as she nears adoption I try to guard my heart because I long for her to stay with us, we all do, but the details of her case are complicated as they always are. 

During breakfast today my husband and I were talking about our journey with this little girl. She has been in our lives for so long and we love her so much. I don't know what God has planned for her or for our family but I am eager to seek God's will. It was a worshipful conversation, one that we both opened our hearts and encouraged each other as we move ahead. We talked as we went through the house getting everyone ready for church. 

We got all four kids out the door and off to church. As I prepared for the sermon I realized that no matter what happens I have faith that God will provide and give both our family and our little foster daughter the best He has for us. God's plan is perfect for each of us. And even though I don't have the answers I can be thankful for what I can see now. 

I can praise God that I have a husband who seeks God and wants to live a life not out of the cookie cutter mold but more in the midst of God's beautiful plan. 

While singing praises this morning standing in the balcony of our church I smiled with joy for the amazing conversation at the breakfast table with my husband. God has given me a spouse who can walk with me and be encouraging as we prepare our hearts and watch God unfold life for this little girl. 

We had a powerful sermon and it brought a lot to my attention that I want to pray about as I try to see God's direction. One thing I know is that God tends to be loud and clear in the details. So that is my prayer today. 

Use me, Lord?

"God uses those who are inadequate so He can show what He can do." I recently came across these words on a day I needed to hear them.

I so often ask myself, who am I? What do I have to offer? How am I equipped to do that task?

Being a stay at home mom with kids I would often find myself telling people about my previous jobs along with being a mother in defense to their question, "What do you do?" But then I always leave the conversation wondering why I do that. Why do I feel like being a stay-at-home mom isn't enough in other people's eyes. Is that how I see it?

I started my young adult life with fulfilling many passions in life from working up the ladder in the business world, catering weddings, having my own massage therapy business, creating a website business, making and selling products, volunteering for good causes and working in ministry. God has blessed me with a love for many things and I am thankful for all the time I had to do them all.

However, many of those came from passion, hard work and training. Motherhood is on the job experience. There is no degree or license required. What value do I put in being a stay-at-home mom? What is my attitude about how I spend my time? I want to remember on those hard days at home that it is a blessing to get to raise my children and have these memories. I want to keep the attitude that I get to do all of those things that I did before and more with my kids. I get to plan menu's and teach them to cook, I get to teach them to read and take them on picnics and teach them to sew and paint. We have dance parties in the middle of the afternoon and plan surprises for their dad when he comes home from work. We get to feed ducks and play in the bath. I am so thankful I get to be their comfort when they get hurt and cuddle up when they are sad. I love to watch them play together some day they will grow up and not ask me to do a puzzle with them.

I have seen a handful of those inspirational quotes around online about all the things we get to do as moms. Here are just a few:

As a Mom I get to be; a teacher, a nurse, a photographer, a chef, a referee, and handyman, an event planner, a hairdresser, a spider killer, a house keeper, a fan at sporting events, a counselor, an explorer, and so much more!

I want to remind myself of the huge amount of opportunities I get and the responsibility I have to walk through life with my kids instead of focusing on the losses the world thinks I have from not working in the corporate world.

Lord, help me keep the right attitude about the life you have called me to have. Lord thank you for you blessings and allowing me to have this time with my children. It is the perfect life for me, I have so many passions in life and you have let me see that I have the best job of all. Being a Mom lets me do all of them over and over. Amen.

The right place at the right time

On a Saturday morning when the kids are all asleep I wake up early. I can't believe I am up this early!  Normally I wake up to kids in my face asking for breakfast and eager to start the day. I close my eyes tight praying I can go back to sleep. I need more sleep! Not going to happen.

I head downstairs quietly, if I am going to be up this early I welcome some quiet time. After doing my devotions and making some tea I curl up on the couch with my laptop. I check my email and then go online and end up chatting with a friend.  As we get caught up she shares a major trial she is going through. My whole attitude changes, I am up so early and have the time to talk with out the distractions of the kids. I am able to be there for my friend and offer comfort and help her digest her situation. I spend the rest of my day feeling guilty about my bad attitude.  God obviously had other plans for me early that morning. 

The Lord must be trying to drive this point home with me because just a week later I had a meeting to go to early in the morning on a Saturday. By my own choice I had stayed up late the night before and was not happy about heading out to my meeting. I spent my morning being frustrated that I had this obligation to attend instead of enjoying a waffle breakfast with my family before I left.

As I finished up at the meeting I asked a friend who also attended how she was doing. You know the typical, "how are you?" when you expect, the "oh I am just fine" answer. My friend was really struggling. She is also a foster parent and has been really having a hard time. She was feeling drained, overwhelmed, dealing with issues that she didn't see coming. I have been there. I knew her exhaustion.

We were able to chat and vent and talk about possible solutions. I left with a heavy heart for this dear friend. I am so glad I was there and could be a support to her. So often as foster parents, it is hard to have others who understand what we were going through. She told me that she felt so alone and was shocked but thankful that I could relate to her situation. What a blessing that God had me attend this meeting and have time to chat with her on a day when she was really hurting. 

On the drive home I was thinking about everything we talked about, hoping I left her with something useful. I was so thankful I could help her because of something I went through. However, I don't think I would have been a big help to her if I hadn't completely digested my own situation. If I was still mourning my trials and not in a place where I could see how God walked me through it all and used it for His glory.

The idea of this really grabbed my attention. When God provides us with people we can give comfort to because of our situations or past experiences we have to be careful about what we are portraying to them. If I was still hurt, frustrated and angry I would not be able to give her hope and encouragement. I would dump all of my negative baggage on her which then makes it about me and not her. I could have made her feel worse or direct her in to a place that isn't where God is. 

When we come to a place where we are living a life not tied down by the past hurt and anger we can be filled with hope even after the worst situations. We can know that we survived and made it through by the grace of God. Our hearts will be full of love and our attitude will show it. 

We will go through trials big and small in life.  We will hurt and have pain and people will let us down. We will feel alone and scared. Are those feelings we want to carry with us each day? Do we want to hold onto them and then reflect those feelings to others around us? I don't think that is our intent but often what we do. 

It is my prayer that we can be deliberate about asking God to take away our hurt and show us His glory so we can be a hope to others. I often listen to speakers that can talk about their own personal struggles, some of them have been through tragic loss and pain, in a way that doesn't bring you down with them. They have made it through and you can hear in their words that they have been able to step back from the situation and heal from it and it isn't taking over their life and thoughts each day. 

This is my prayer for myself and all of you. God does so much more for us and we could miss out on so much joy if we keep holding on to the loss in our life.

If we can’t learn to stay focused on the joy of the Lord with the small hurts in life then we will not be successful with the big hurts in life.

Lord, I pray that you will work in my heart. Lord help me not have a negative attitude about the small inconveniences in life but see them as opportunities to follow you and be a servant to others. Thank you for my trials, they have helped me grow and have helped me love others around me. Please God help us focus on Your will and the love that comes from having a joyful heart. Amen. 

Nourishment

After a stressful morning with appointments and children who weren't behaving I come home and eat lunch, trying to find every carb in the house and desperate for nap time to hurry and get here. After the kids are asleep I could crawl into bed with my laptop, look around on facebook and vent about my morning. I could enjoy a chocolate dessert and tell myself I deserve it after a morning like that. I have done this routine before and it doesn't have any benefit.

I could just as easily make the choice to have my usual healthy lunch and tuck my kids into bed and rest my body as well, both emotionally and physically. So often when our kids are having a rough time it is due to another need, stress, lack of sleep or food, anxiety, etc... We all need some time to quiet down and relax. Laying in bed I often escape online or in a book but rarely run to my Father.

I have to ask myself, "Did I start my day with devotions and prayer? Did I consult the Lord about my attitude and keep my focus that God gave me this day?"

On the days I choose to take some time for God I find that I am satisfied, filled with nourishment so I can help guide my kids through their day.

Lord,
Thank you for each and every day you give me on this earth. I pray that I will remember to turn to you in times of stress but more importantly that I will have a daily relationship with you so I am nourished in a way that worldly things can not satisfy.

You knit me together in my Mother's womb.

On a drive with my husband we started talking about how far we had come as parents. We have two little girls who were both amazing in their own way. We were blessed to have loved a handful of foster kids and we are on our way to adopting our foster son. It was a reflective conversation about how much God had done to bring us to our little guy.  We have seen God's hand through the whole thing.

Then at one point it dawned on me. In the midst of all of our chatting I finally saw it. When God created our little boy and designed him in his Mother's womb it was always the plan for him to be our son. Just in the same way as He created each of our girls to be in our family. It may have taken a little longer to get to us and came with a bumpy road but it was God's plan. There is such joy in knowing that! I hold on to this thought as we finish the adoption process.

Psalm 139 is a wonderful reminder that we are each specifically designed and created. Thank you Lord.

Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; 
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful, 
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.