Portland Mom's Blog: Just Say No to Summer Guilt

You can find my guest blog post here:

http://portland.citymomsblog.com/parenting/summer-guilt/

Portland Mom's Blog: 6 Tips that Allow Mom to Enjoy Family Vacations Too

You can find my guest blog post here:

http://portland.citymomsblog.com/travel/enjoying-family-vacations/

Portland Mom's Blog: 6 Tips that Allow Mom to Enjoy Family Vacations Too

You can find my guest blog post here:

http://portland.citymomsblog.com/travel/enjoying-family-vacations/

Portland Mom's Blog: My Special Needs Daughter is an Every Day Princess

You can find my guest blog post here:

http://portland.citymomsblog.com/parenting/special-needs-daughter/

Portland Mom's Blog: Opening Your Door and Your Heart to Foster Care

You can find my guest post below:

http://portland.citymomsblog.com/foster-care/open-your-heart-to-foster-care/

Dahlin-07: Update for our family.

For a while you can call the kids, Dahlin-07. (My husband is proud of his play on 007) Almost two weeks ago we had two new foster kids join our family. Here is my attempt to share with you how God has called us to this place, as foster parents, once again. 

My husband and I had been praying about adopting again for quite some time. We put that on hold after we learned that our son had a bio sister that was born but after she didn't come to us, we decided to officially continue the adoption process.

In December of this last year, as part of our annual giving-back gift, we were told about two kids in foster care who could use some extra gifts. So we gave the gifts, and I ended up connecting with their foster mom afterward online. We became an online support to each other but that was about it. The kids we gave gifts to were African-American siblings, a four-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy. 

Creative Parenting

Katie's new princess bed! 

I feel like I am always trying to keep up with my kids as they grow and change and jump from one stage to the next. I have a plan of action and attitude about who they are becoming and then before I my very eyes they switch things up on me. It doesn't happen on their birthday, there is no spot on the calendar for it, it just happens.

When we moved into our new house, over six months ago, our little Katie got her, very much needed, own bedroom.  Not only did she bang her head as a soothing mechanism but she would wake up in the middle of the night ready to play. She would be up for hours as I repeatedly tucked her back in to bed praying she would fall back to sleep.

One Year Anniversary to my sweet boy!

Our youngest boy has officially been in our home (for the second time) one year as of yesterday. I picked him up from the hospital at 2 days old and we had him for a short two months. He came back into our family when he was 16 months old and has been with us ever since.

Public: I wish you knew...

I get frustrated that I allow other people and their responses, looks, etc... dictate how I feel about my family. Why can't I can't just keep my eyes on the Lord and His will for my life?

I have been thinking a lot about why the comment, "You have your hands full" bothers me so much.

Slumber Party in the Bathroom

I know that with five kids when the stomach bug comes it will stay a while. But I am at a loss this time around. It has been spread out over almost a month now and has gone through three of the kids twice! I am so tired of being to what seems up to my knees in the whole thing. For a woman who has always had anxiety over the matter I have to say that I am less stressed more bitter. I just want it to go away and let us enjoy our summer!

Last night after waking up at 2:00am my oldest daughter and I made our way to the bathroom and then a few hours later realizing we weren't leaving I made make shift beds and we slept on the floor. I thank God we have a big enough bathroom for us to do such a thing. Even the coffee this morning isn't quite bringing me up to speed.

Mother's Day

Life has been so mellow...finally! We have been in our new house for over a month now and we are pretty much moved in. I have been enjoying my kids and our routine.

Just the other day I found out that the Birth Mom to two of our kids is having another baby. My face sunk in sadness. It consumed my thoughts the night I found out and most of the next day. I vented some of my frustrations to a close friend....

I am disappointed in her decisions...I feel guilty like I have given her a false sense of what her kids go through because I am not more open about their struggles with her over the little communication we have. I am angry because this puts me in a position of saying no to a child. I am so sad for our kids and the fact that they will have another sibling.

Mixed Feelings

Last week I took my 3 year old son to his evaluation with Early Intervention. If he still qualified for services he could attend their preschool program. I was eager for him to get in and have the small classroom size and the extra attention to help him get ready for kindergarten. Although I had seen so much improvement in him recently and I didn't know if he would get the right scores needed. I thought maybe he would just barely make it in.

Expectations. How do I live without them?

As my family and I walked down the busy street to my daughter's school carnival I found myself soaking in the night. It was our first day of real sunshine and fresh air after a long winter. Finally it was starting to feel like spring.  Pushing the umbrella stroller and holding hands, we embraced the evening and made our way to the carnival.

My daughter is in kindergarten and we are in the first years of what I call, "setting the tone." We are building relationships, people are learning about our family and it either becomes a deal breaker or not an issue at all.  I admit that I wanted it to go well. It was our first school function with all of us attending.    I wanted a night out with our family where we could have fun and enjoy the party and go home feeling refreshed. As a stay-at-home mom I am always up for a social event to get recharged.

Taste or Waste Life?

I have been thinking about the idea that we all spend so much time looking to the future. We fantasize about what is ahead, the possibilities. Maybe it is a bigger house, a new job, someday having a child, the list could go on. Why do we spend so much time thinking about the stuff that isn't the here and the now? Is it a way to drowned out our life when it is too much to handle?

Whatever the reason is we are missing out. We are going through life wasting our days. I have learned that if we are always looking ahead we will never get there. We will never get to the point where we find joy in our days. We will not be satisfied.

It is a bad habit to have, never enjoying the now. We often don't realize we are doing it.

Today the littles were down for naps, my 4-year-old daughter was playing in the living room while I sat at the counter catching up on emails, making appointments, and filling up my days.

Adoption Day!

I spent the morning in a daze. I thought I would be fine but I was an emotional zombie. I knew I was supposed to be running through the house getting everyone dressed, packing the diaper bag and boxing up the cupcakes but instead I sat at my desk watching the slideshow of our sweet boy over and over. Soaking up the words and the pictures.

Thankfully my husband stepped up and got almost everything ready as we were rushing to head out the door to the court house. I was blessed with emails, online posts and phone calls that I couldn't answer with sweet messages.

I cried tears of joy on this day. Jabar is loved by so many.

I could hardly believe this day was here. We made it to the court house on time, surrounded by our family members. It was better than I could have imagined. I have to say the Judge did an amazing job that day. She let the kids sit in her chair and really enjoy being in the court room. She had a selection of small toys they got to pick out and we had cupcakes to celebrate. This is one celebration I will never forget. God's piece to our puzzle was put in place this day.

Our love for Jabar has not changed, we have felt in our hearts he is our son for so long. But I am so happy it is offical! He is mine. I have spent the last year and a half being his foster mom with little rights to him. Now I am his Mother and he is my son. We get to say out loud what we have felt in our hearts. It feels great!!

Bonding through illness

Tonight our sweet one-year-old foster son woke up only an hour after I put him down for bed. All day today he had been chewing on things and sporting the ever-so-fun runny nose. I imagine he is teething or starting a cold. He is normally so wiggly and all over the place that we don't get to cuddle much. Although he seems to have a love for my husbands lap during a movie.

We have been hoping to adopt him along with his 2 year old sister who is in our home. I have been eager to bond with him since he only just started spending more time in our home while he is still in another foster home.

When I grow up...

Drawing at the table with my 5 year old Daughter draws her best princess and tells me she wants to be a princess when she grows up. She has changed her mind from last week when she wanted to be a star.
Next she asks, "Mommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?" My first response is I am grown up. I am a Mommy. She isn't happy with my answer and keeps asking. I stumble as I try and think what I want to be...what do I hope for?

Why is it we think when we are set in a groove and living life that we don't have to dream anymore? We just accept where we are at and that is it? Don't we think God has more for us? I will always be a Mom but am I asking God how he can use me in other ways too?

I don't want to stop dreaming or settle for where I am now. God has amazing things for us. I hope that when I am old and grey that I still pray for God to use me and guide me and give me adventures that give Him glory.

Do what I say not what I do?

What messages are we sending our children about marriage when they see how we interact with our spouse? I have been pondering this question lately and taking a hard look at how I engage with my husband.

When he comes home from work do I greet him with love and joy or do I dump my troubles on him before he takes his coat off? It is hard after a long day not to spill my stress or beg him to take over so I can run upstairs and melt in my bed.

How I ask for his help with chores or the attitude I have when I am frustrated says a lot to our kids. So often we have anger from things outside our control, work, friends, stress, activities and obligations.  But do we give our best to our husband or do we use him as our dumping ground. Am I giving my best to those at church or the Doctor office but not my most valuable relationship? Why do we often put our best foot forward with people we want to impress but not to our spouse?

As parents we are sleep deprived, stressed, run down, and often behind in housework. Life is busy and we get comfortable with our spouse so they can easily get the brunt of our behavior.

When I think about who I want my kids to marry and how I want them to be loved and respected I don't think I would hope some of my bad behavior on them. I think about what I wish I would have known about marriage and how much I have learned about keeping Christ as our focus and I pray I can show them how to do the same.

We have the big responsibility to shape their attitude about marriage. I can show them what to hope for, what to look for in a marriage. We set the bar so how high or low do we set it?

Lord, Thank you for giving me a wonderful husband, a Godly partner who I can be encouraged and strengthened by. Lord help us love each other in a way that pleases you and shows our children what marriage and life for you can look like. Thank you for my days on this earth. Amen.

You knit me together in my Mother's womb.

On a drive with my husband we started talking about how far we had come as parents. We have two little girls who were both amazing in their own way. We were blessed to have loved a handful of foster kids and we are on our way to adopting our foster son. It was a reflective conversation about how much God had done to bring us to our little guy.  We have seen God's hand through the whole thing.

Then at one point it dawned on me. In the midst of all of our chatting I finally saw it. When God created our little boy and designed him in his Mother's womb it was always the plan for him to be our son. Just in the same way as He created each of our girls to be in our family. It may have taken a little longer to get to us and came with a bumpy road but it was God's plan. There is such joy in knowing that! I hold on to this thought as we finish the adoption process.

Psalm 139 is a wonderful reminder that we are each specifically designed and created. Thank you Lord.

Psalm 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being; 
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful, 
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.