The Fight of a Foster Parent

May is National Foster Care month, and this year I have the privilege of writing for the Adoption Advocate with the National Council For Adoption. You can find the full publication at the link below!

http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/publications/2018/05/adoption-advocate-no-119

Loving in the Midst of Loss- Magazine article

Hey friends!

Here is my latest article for the Fostering Families Today magazine in my Spilled Milk column for their Jan/Feb 2018 issue.

I hope it resonates with you as you either experience this kind of loss or walk through grief with someone in your life. I want to give a big thank you to all who made the effort to comfort our family during a hard season of life. The little things really go a long way to help carry us through.

(Below the images is the text for easier reading if needed.)

Loving in the Midst of Loss. 

One of the realities of our foster parenting is having children leave our home. Just as kids come through our front door with little preparation, they can leave and in doing so, leave us unprepared for how to get through grief.

Having recently gone through this kind of loss, where our two-year-old foster daughter left our family after raising her for the two years prior, our family was shaken. And yet the love that poured out from those around us really did help ease the pain that we were not alone. 

It is been too long...

Wow.

It has been a long time since I have had a new post.

Life has been, well, hard. We have been going through some rough seasons and change.

So. Much. Change.

Our foster daughter who we raised since she was just three weeks old, moved out of our family after two and a half years of being in our family.
My husbands job changed, same place, new role.
Our life group came to an end, our church location will be moving this year, still waiting to see God unfold the details.
We started homeschooling all five of our kids this fall.

It is difficult to put it all into words sometimes. Honestly, so many times I wanted to post and felt like I needed to digest my reflections more before I did.

But this year is coming to a close and I hope to start writing on this platform more.
But don't forget to check out my column, Spilled Milk, in the Fostering Families Today magazine.

You can also like my Facebook page, What Led Me to You for more updates.

My husband and I have made some new family goals and we are eager to see what God will be doing  this next year.

Foster Parent Prayer

Racial Mirrors: Who Do They See?

This topic has been on my heart lately. I wrote this piece for my column, Spilled Milk, in the Fostering Families Today magazine July/Aug 2016 issue. You can get your subscription HERE.

Racial Mirrors: Who do they see?

My five-year-old son was holding my hand as we walked down the sidewalk on the busy street so he could get his first big boy hair cut. I was determined to walk into that barber shop with confidence, because I knew that if I was going to show my son that he could embrace this part of who he is, I should to feel comfortable too. I think I was nervous about being judged as the white, adoptive, mom who hadn’t done this before. Aren’t we all, when we step into a new part of parenting? 

We first became a transracial family five-years ago, when our son came to us just before his first birthday, I immediately started learning about hair styles and skin care products. I started scanning the toy aisle for any African-American toys I could find for him. Books with diversity in their illustrations made their way into my shopping cart. I will never forget my excitement the year that I found a black angel for the top of our Christmas tree. I was eager to fill my house with items that my son could identify with, but I know even more now, that parenting a child of a different race involved so much more than that. 

Portland Mom's Blog: Opening Your Door and Your Heart to Foster Care

You can find my guest post below:

http://portland.citymomsblog.com/foster-care/open-your-heart-to-foster-care/

Fostering Families Today magazine column!

                       

I am beyond excited to share with you that starting in the May/June 2016 issue I will be find my column in the Fostering Families Today magazine!

I am so honored that they asked me and I can't wait to connect with the readers. I have already started working on article ideas and praying about what subjects I should touch on. As most of you know I am a very reflective writer and love to advocate for support and connection among parents.

So, be sure to get your subscription going in either print or digital. You can find more details at http://www.fosteringfamiliestoday.com

Doc McStuffin Themed Birthday Party

Our foster daughter of six months was turning 5 years old and loved the cartoon show Doc McStuffins! She was about to leave our home with her brother and we were so glad we could celebrate with her before she left! I had a lot of fun putting this together for her. I hope you enjoy and get some great inspiration! 

Our very happy birthday girl! She moved into our home right before we celebrated two of our kiddos birthday parties and was very much looking forward to her own party. She wanted to dress up and had such a good time! Oh I miss her so. 

All of our Doc McStuffin's themed food! 

Book Review: From Carrie at Reading to Know

Last weekend I attended the Called to Love conference for foster and adoptive moms in Silverton, Oregon. It was a wonderful, reflective time away and I was blessed to have my book, What Led Me to You, at a table.

One lady chatted with me and we bonded over the fact that both of our names are Carrie! :) She bought my book and started reading it that night. She connected with me the next day because she realized we had a connection more than just our names. We had been through similar trauma.

After returning home from the weekend I got an email from this mama and she let me know that writes book reviews! Who knew? So she passed on this book review that is from her heart as she reflects on her own story and her response to What Led Me to You.

I have to say it brought me much joy knowing that God used our story and what we went through to touch this woman's life and help her share something that she had been holding onto all of these years. God is good. I am so passionate about connecting with other parents, and it is my hope that our story will help them feel less alone in their own journey. So it was such an honor to meet this sweet lady. :)

Here is her book review:
http://www.readingtoknow.com/2015/11/what-led-me-to-you-by-carrie-dahlin.html

Book Review: Fostering Families Today magazine

Fostering Families Today magazine is such a great resource for Foster Parents. 

I am honored to have had a voice in their magazine over the last several years. 

So today I am thrilled to share with you Fostering Families Today's 

book review for What Led Me to You in their Sept/Oct 2015 issue. 

Be sure to check out their magazine and find out how you can get a hard copy or an online version: 

http://www.fosteringfamiliestoday.com

A subscription to Fostering Families Today magazine would be a great gift idea for the foster parent in your life! 

Guest Blog Post at God-Sized Dreams

It was such an honor to have the opportunity to share my story, my heart, with the God-Sized Dreams audience today! Be sure to head over there and read how God walked my family through the unexpected.

http://godsizeddreams.com/fostering-a-relationship-with-god/

Magazine Article: Trigger Day

I have had the privilege of working with Fostering Families Today magazine over the last few years. They included my article, Trigger Day in their July/August 2015 issue of the magazine. It is my hope that this article will connect and relate to other foster parents who are also living in the trenches.

You can read my article below:

You can find copies and subscription information to Fostering Families Today magazine at http://www.fosteringfamiliestoday.com.

Dahlin-07: Update for our family.

For a while you can call the kids, Dahlin-07. (My husband is proud of his play on 007) Almost two weeks ago we had two new foster kids join our family. Here is my attempt to share with you how God has called us to this place, as foster parents, once again. 

My husband and I had been praying about adopting again for quite some time. We put that on hold after we learned that our son had a bio sister that was born but after she didn't come to us, we decided to officially continue the adoption process.

In December of this last year, as part of our annual giving-back gift, we were told about two kids in foster care who could use some extra gifts. So we gave the gifts, and I ended up connecting with their foster mom afterward online. We became an online support to each other but that was about it. The kids we gave gifts to were African-American siblings, a four-year-old girl and a three-year-old boy. 

Adoption Celebration & Circus Party!

What a weekend it has been! On Friday we had our adoption finalization hearing. What a fun day! We celebrated with family and had cupcakes and apple cider and took a ton of pictures. We took a wonderful family photo with the judge. 

I have spent the last four and half years going in that court room and spent most of those years imagining our adoption ceremony in there. But when I walked in and set up with the kids in the front, sitting at the table, all I could think about was the fact that their birth parents sat in those very same chairs years ago when I sat in the back. I recounted a handful of hard court hearings and all of the waiting and ups and downs in the case. At times, I doubted we would ever get to this day. 

It worked out that my husband was off that day, as were the kids. So we woke up and everyone crawled into our bed and we took our time starting the day. We sang "Happy Adoption Day to you!"

As we made our way downstairs I began picking outfits to wear and getting everything together. 

Along with the pictures and cupcakes to celebrate I brought to the court house, two books. One for each child being adopted. We did this with my other son a few years ago at his adoption. We bought children's books on adoption and asked everyone to sign the inside cover and blank pages. It was such a treat to have the judge and counsel and everyone who had spent the last few years working with these kids, sign their books. :) We brought them to the party the next day and put them on our welcome table for everyone to sign as well.

Exciting Adoption News!

We FINALLY have a date set for next month to finalize our adoption for Katie and Robert!!! 

What?! I know...it is crazy exciting. 

I can't wait to make it official and have a big party to celebrate this long, brought-me-to-my-knees,  wonderful journey. They have been my kids for so long but to have it be finalized is such a wonderful thing to jump up and down about! 

As a gift to myself, or from my husband, how ever you want to see it :), I ordered this set as part of our celebration. I LOVE Willow Tree. My mother-in-law started buying me Willow Tree Christmas ornaments every year when I first got married. It has been a fun traditional gift that I just love!

Snuggles!

Cuddles with my sweet boy after his bath. 

I have been hoping to write sooner on this but I was struggling with how to share my excitement with you. I have been digesting a lot of our changes recently. With the year coming to a close and as I was reflecting on a lot that has happened I wanted to share the joy in my heart with you!

My sweet boy has slowly been making big changes these last few months. All of the sudden I realized I was able to connect with Robert more without him rejecting my contact or going into a frustrated fit.

Here are a handful of some of the wonderful moments I have been blessed with:

*Cuddling after his bath (as pictured above) while I rock him in his chair until he is ready to be done. These are such special moments for me because I have rarely had the chance to cuddle with him while sitting still. He has shown interest before but would usually get easily overwhelmed almost in a panic and want down.

Public: I wish you knew...

I get frustrated that I allow other people and their responses, looks, etc... dictate how I feel about my family. Why can't I can't just keep my eyes on the Lord and His will for my life?

I have been thinking a lot about why the comment, "You have your hands full" bothers me so much.

5 Little Monkeys...Jumping on the bed

Oh where to begin? I have been putting off writing this post because I don't know where it will lead but the fact of the matter is, life is happening and I don't want to forget being in this place.

The nutshell: My husband and I are pursuing adoption of our previous foster daughter and her brother.  

The story:  We have watched adoptive families drop out of the race, back out last minute and even family resources change their mind after starting transitions. It breaks my heart to watch. She has been in a foster home with good friends of ours and we have been able to see her often. So much so, that she still calls us Mommy and Daddy.