Just the other day I found out that the Birth Mom to two of our kids is having another baby. My face sunk in sadness. It consumed my thoughts the night I found out and most of the next day. I vented some of my frustrations to a close friend....
I am disappointed in her decisions...I feel guilty like I have given her a false sense of what her kids go through because I am not more open about their struggles with her over the little communication we have. I am angry because this puts me in a position of saying no to a child. I am so sad for our kids and the fact that they will have another sibling.
Today is Mother's Day. We hosted a big lunch and although crazy to get it all together we had a great time. I was given gifts and cards from my kids and my three daughters even put on a show for me with a song about Mother's Day that they made up. My heart is full.
Tucking my two older girls into bed we said our prayers. My four year old daughter prayed her usual prayer but then said something that struck me..." God thank you for letting me be born." She said it with such innocence. My mind was immediately pulled back to this new baby that is growing inside a womb.
I want to trust that God has a purpose for this baby and that some day he/she might say those same words to Him, " God, thank you for letting me be born." I know that God can use this for his glory. I don't know the future of this baby but I do know that God works in wonderful ways. I think back to how He has brought me closer to Him and try to hold onto the fact that He isn't done yet with this world.
I want to take this time to pray for this new life.......
Dear Jesus, I pray with all of my heart that this child that will be born will know you, Lord. If it is your will I would love for our little ones to be involved in this child's life and know him/her. I pray you use this child for your glory and keep it safe and healthy. Please be with the dear girl carrying this baby and help her keep it safe and healthy. Lord remind me that each child is a gift. I love you with all my heart and have seen you change my life to bring me closer to you and I pray you do the same for this family.
In Jesus Name, Amen.