I know that with five kids when the stomach bug comes it will stay a while. But I am at a loss this time around. It has been spread out over almost a month now and has gone through three of the kids twice! I am so tired of being to what seems up to my knees in the whole thing. For a woman who has always had anxiety over the matter I have to say that I am less stressed more bitter. I just want it to go away and let us enjoy our summer!
Last night after waking up at 2:00am my oldest daughter and I made our way to the bathroom and then a few hours later realizing we weren't leaving I made make shift beds and we slept on the floor. I thank God we have a big enough bathroom for us to do such a thing. Even the coffee this morning isn't quite bringing me up to speed.
As I rubbed her back and legs trying to take her mind off of her discomfort I couldn't help but feel convicted in the quiet moment. The silence made me pause. How much quiet have I had in my week? How much of it did I give to God? In the rushed moments of appointments, play dates, VBS, court hearings and shopping trips, have I really talked to God at all this week? Does it take a 2:00am slumber party in the bathroom, when the rest of our world is sleeping, for me to consult with God. Pray to God, or just be with Him?
After the last few weeks of doing a bible study from Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, I have been more aware of the reality I try to avoid...life is too busy. I cringe when I type that word-- busy. I have grown to hate that word for I use it way too much. Or maybe I am just disappointed with myself for letting it follow me in my life. When I am rushing from one thing to the next and am I really present in the moment?
Even at my last bible study meeting when I was trying to learn to be thankful and slow down I caught myself running through my mental list of the rest of that day and days to follow. Why is it so hard to just be in the moment. To be thankful, to give praise to God. I have noticed how easy it is to be in present in life when we have a big moment, either traumatic or celebration. The details are etched in our brain, we soak in the day, whether it be a wedding, a baby shower, graduation etc. But during the week of routine, of cleaning up messes and playing with kids and running a house we escape and almost cross off the days on our calendar until the next big anticipated moment.
I was present at 2:00am last night. No where else I needed to be but there with my daughter and I am thankful for it. No rushing to the early morning hours, no housework to do in the middle of the night, no planning, no emails to check, just curled up with my sweet girl and doing what God created me to be, her Mother- able to console her in those early hours and help her feel better. Comfort her.
What a gift I have been given.
I have come to enjoy the conversations that appear in the middle of the night. My 4-year-old daughter was up a few weeks ago and as we sat on the hard floor, up against the wall, as the minutes slowly went by. She wanted to chat and specifically about Jesus.
She went on to tell me that she was so thankful that Jesus died on the cross for her. She remembers every day and is so happy He lives in her heart. My heart melted in this moment. She told me that she wants to do her very best for Jesus and she is so happy God put her in our family and I am her Mommy.
I am so blessed to have this moment that I would have missed if we had slept through the night. I pray that as we find our health and have our summer fun that I will spend my time being present, even in the simple days at home.