Bonding through illness

Tonight our sweet one-year-old foster son woke up only an hour after I put him down for bed. All day today he had been chewing on things and sporting the ever-so-fun runny nose. I imagine he is teething or starting a cold. He is normally so wiggly and all over the place that we don't get to cuddle much. Although he seems to have a love for my husbands lap during a movie.

We have been hoping to adopt him along with his 2 year old sister who is in our home. I have been eager to bond with him since he only just started spending more time in our home while he is still in another foster home.

I have been dreading this new fall and all the time we spend being sick. In fact I have to say that I HATE illness. I have had a big fear of it most of my life and well with five kids in our home it is bound to show its face for a good chunk of the year.

However, tonight as I sat in my chair rocking this sweet boy back to sleep I thought about how this was a good time for us to bond. I smelled his freshly bathed hair and rubbed his back over his full bodies pajamas. I got to stare into his face and watch him fall asleep. I didn't realize how much I missed this baby stage.

This little guy depends on me to take care of him. How lucky I am that God has placed me in charge of this sweet child. What a gift. So I try not to stress about all that comes with being sick but rather that this is what I prayed for, children to take care of, especially in these moments. I found myself holding him even though he was fast asleep and I could have laid him back down.

Thank you Jesus for giving me the responsibility to take care of this child. You know best and I am so eager to see your plan unfold. Amen.

Cookie-Cutter Life?

God has been showing me that my dreams and plans for my life have been limited. I am sad to admit that I had longed for the cookie-cutter life. I wanted to live in the cookie-cutter house and have the cookie-cutter family and maybe I thought I should even live the cookie-cutter spiritual life.

As I finish writing my book I see that this idea of living in this cookie-cutter mentality isn't quite fitting with where I am heading. I have become fascinated with knowledge that living outside the shaped life can be so fulfilling and more adventurous than I ever thought.

Doing some research I stumbled upon a definition for cookie-cutter....marked by lack of originality or distinction.

I am blown away that I was once striving for that! Do I think that is all God wants for my life? Just to blend in with the world? The word "lack" really struck me. Why would God want me to lack anything? Why did I think that was appealing?

Over the last few years God has been taking me out of the life I thought I was supposed to have and I have seen that He has so much more for me. I am still amazed that it is often hard for me to let go of the little things I thought should be. As much as I have taken leaps in the right direction I still hold onto this thought that I know better than God.




Reference for definition found on http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cookie-cutter